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The Price We Pay For Love September 1, 2017

Posted by Janjan in Uncategorized.
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When all is said and done, Grief is the price we pay for Love,” writes my friend Nats using an elegant fountain pen.

I guess this sums up what’s been weighing down on my thoughts these past few weeks. A good number of my friends, myself included, find ourselves searching for lovers to fill the empty parts of ourselves. The holes in our hearts aching for tenderness, passion, and an honest intimacy to be found in someone we love, who loves us in return.

But our experiences and past relationships either left us with resentment, betrayal, and a wariness for the pain lent by vulnerability to a lover’s cruel blow.

And yet we hold faith that somewhere out there, there is someone who would hold the broken parts of ourselves in their hands and find somehow the impetus to revere and honor both the magnificent and the broken lying in their fingers.

That we ourselves would find the strength to be this kind of love for another.

I think about that also in the intimate friendships I’ve lost. In the trust broken and the respect forgone. In the love that cannot be seen past the cruel things we say, and the things we should have done.

But never did.

It’s been months of coming to terms with the brokenness and putting ourselves back with piano string and gum.

It’s easy to say that the love we seek is within ourselves and lies not with another.

But it cannot be denied that sometimes, we just want to be held, in a manner that says that the other cares. That there is a space held in the heart for fondness to grow.

In the broken places, we hold hope to find a love that is worth the grief of loving.

There is a bravery in that. A courage in the willingness to give it one more try.