jump to navigation

An Open Letter to Nice Guys from a Veteran of the Game June 4, 2014

Posted by Janjan in Uncategorized.


Friendzones and Nice Guys. It seems like everywhere I look in social media, there’s either a meme or a blog being posted about nice guys whom girls place in friendzones because well… they’re too nice.

I laugh at that. No seriously, I do.

I’m the so-called nice guy that this trend revolves around. I built my life around accepting the fact that I will be perenially friendzoned. I could write a book on the topic. When I court a girl, I’m open and honest about my feelings. I’m emotionally supportive of her. I don’t play games. Heck, I could be the poster boy for nice guys everywhere.  Look it up in the dictionary, that’s my picture placed right beside the word “doormat.”

I laugh at that phenomenon because so many people seem to be making a big deal about it, pointing fingers at women who break a nice guy’s heart because he’s too… well… “nice.”

See the thing is, getting busted is a rite of passage. I don’t consider anyone a real man until they know what it’s like to have their heart broken by someone they love. From this experience, you learn how to court a lady better. You learn exactly what you want out of a relationship and a significant other. You learn how to become a better man.

Hell yes, having your heart broken is painful. It’s probably the deepest emotional pain anyone can ever go through in their life. But face it, it’s part of growing up. It’s as necessary as shedding off excess skin to allow new epithilial cells to grow.

I even remember when I was 26 years old, someone was trying to hook me up to her friend. But when she described me saying, “He’s a nice guy, intelligent, and has a stable job. And he’s never had a girlfriend.” Her friend remarked, “Really? He’s never had a girlfriend? What’s wrong with him?” Ouch. I tried to smile that answer away, but the truth is, that remark really really hurt. A perfect stranger who’s never met me was judging me solely based on my dating history. If that’s not a sucker punch to the nads, I don’t know what is. But hey, that’s the breaks you get.

So, don’t blame the girls in their teens and 20’s who choose the bad boys and assholes over the nice guy like you. Face it, those guys are more exciting than us nice guys. It’s a mistake that girls at these age need to make in order to become wiser and more mature, just as it’s necessary for us nice guys to have our hearts broken so that we will learn how to take better care of it and choose the right partners for ourselves. And as for the girl who asked me “What’s wrong with him?”. I now realize that the more appropriate answer was, “I’m a great guy with no hang-ups and a clean slate. And you won’t go out with me. What’s wrong with you?”

Be patient nice guys. I had my heart broken early in life but when I turned 30, things changed. From someone whom girls treat with patronizing tolerance, I suddenly became a prized commodity in the dating market. I was a nice guy with a stable job, no baggage, and the emotional stability needed for mature relationships. It was easier to get dates, but this time with women who were ready for a relationship with no drama. Women who were previously burned by their flings with assholes and bad boys. Trust me on this, you will have the pick of the dating pool. The best of the best.

And now, I’m in a happy relationship with a wonderful lady who accepts me for who I am… boring nice guy tendencies nonwithstanding.

Nice guys guys finish last. Don’t be bitter about that fact. It’s who we are, but it doesn’t make us losers. Women will eventually realize that they indeed have saved the best for last.

And that’s when they’ll find you, nice guy. Swaggering out of the friendzone like a champ.


1. belledana - June 4, 2014

Reblogged this on inocciduous;.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: