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Why Magnificent? July 4, 2007

Posted by Janjan in All, I, Lawyer, Idiocy.

I would just like to thank all my fans for helping me reach the 78 daily hit mark yesterday. Much much thanks especially to MLQ3 for plugging my site, yet again and again, because it was your readers that helped me hit the target.

Because of your efforts, I was able to land an interview with Boy Abunda, which is one of my lifelong dreams and ambitions. Unfortunately, Boy ran out of time to air my segment because the network told him to focus on the Sam Milby special. Anyway, since I owe all my fans and stalkers an explanation of why my blog is called the “Magnificent Atty. Perez”, I will just give you a transcript of that interview:


Hello… Ako po si Boy Abunda at ito po ang “The Buzzzzhhh!” Ngayon po, mga tito at tita, may special guest tayo coming all the way from Cebu City, isang minor blogging celebrity sa Internet na nagsa-sideline bilang lawyer sa isang lawfirm doon po sa Cebu. Please say hello to the Magnificent Atty. Perez!!! Palakpakan po natin siya!!!

Hello Boy… Hello po sa mga suking televiewers ng “The Buzzzhhh” Ako poy natutuwa na maging guest ninyo dito sa show. To quote yung bagong nanalo sa Little Miss Philippines at chaka sa That’s My Boy, “Ang sabi nila: ang batang di marunong magsalita sa sariling wika, ay higit pang sa amoy ng mabahong isda. Ako po si Magnificent Atty. Perez, Filipino, of legal age, single, lumulupyo Barangay Capitol Site, Cebu Cityyyyyyy!!!” *bow!*

Before anything po, Magnificent, kumusta na ba yung tour mo? Narinig ko’y dahil sa success ng blog mo, may sarili ka na daw na recording contract with Viva Records chaka you’re touring around Pasil, Cebu holding a concert with your band, The Ambulance Chasers. Kumusta na ba yun?

Why, I’m so happy, thanks Lord, pinatupad Mo ang pangarap ko. Thanks also to Bamboo, for my opening act… please watch Bamboo folks! They’re a good band!

Wowww, ang galeng! Showbiz ka na pala, Magnificent, meron ka pa bang ibang plans? Like acting… gusto mo rin bang nasa movies? Sa teleserye, ganun…

Oo… may offer si Direk Joey na i-pe-paire up daw ako para love-team ng magaganda at sexy’ng starlet…. ewan ko ba, hindi pa nila ma-make up yung mga minds kung either daw si Keanna Reeves, si Chix Alcala o si Sam Milby yung magiging ka-love team ko. Request ko lang, Direk, sana si Sarah Geronimo, idol ko kasi siya. *gigil*

I think meron ding offer sa ABS-CBN, they want me to join a teleserye kasi uso na daw yung revival of classic TV series like “Flor de Luna,” kaya ganun… they want me to star in a revival series, popular daw back in the 1980’s… ako daw yung pinaka-visible na character dun. Ano nga pala yung name ng series na yun? Aw oo nga pala, “Regal Shockers”.

Ang ganda ng buhay! Sa Pinoy Big Brother, I heard may offer din daw that you will join the celebrity edition with Chiz Escudero and fellow internet celebrity, Mia “Hindi Ako Si Chad!” Borja… totoo ba?

Meron ding offers, pero ewan ko ba… baka may conflict of interest. Client ko kasi yung Cebuano Big Brother, si Budoy. May ipa-file kaming case against Big Brother… forcible entry through stealth and intimidation. Bakit daw pina-evict si Budoy, walang legal grounds si Kuya. So ganun… hindi lang ako mag-comment, baka prejudicial sa case, di ba? Abangan mo na lang…

Mr. Magnificent, may malaking clamor sa mga fans ng site mo… marami na pong nagtatanong… ibig nilang malaman… bakit ba “Magnificent”? I mean, andami ng adjectives sa English language… ba’t hindi “The Handsome Atty. Perez” o di kaya “The Pretentious Atty. Perez” o “The Constipated Atty. Perez”? Bakit “Magnificent”?

O sige, I will tell you the story:

I have a long time friend named Roy Sevilla Ho, and I looked up to him because he was the coolest guy I knew. He collects comics, reads Shakespeare and gets laid every night of the week except Wednesdays (because Farscape is showing on AXN during Wednesday nights). Anyway, he and his bestfriends Chris Granert and Paolo Thelmo were members of this group that called themselves the Magnificent Bastards.

Now me and my bestfriend Ken, who also looks up to Roy, wanted to become Magnificent Bastards ourselves but Roy said that we were not up to their level of bastardry, so he said that Ken and I could be the Junior Bastards, as a consolation prize. He said that it will take many more bottles of beer before Ken and I could truly call ourselves Magnificent Bastards.

But I wanted to be Magnificent! So there, when I become a lawyer, I knew what I had to become, the Magnificent Atty. Perez!

And that’s my story.

Oy ang showbiz! May storya pala. So ano sa tingin mo… na-reach mo na ba ang level of bastardry ni Roy?

“I try but eets so harrddd!”, sabi nga ni Maritess ng Superfriends. That’s why I practice everyday with my blog. My target is to piss off one person everyhour, while maintaining my regular diet of San Mig Pilsen and sizzling shawarma. Someday Roy, someday! You cannot stop me from reaching my goals and dreams!

Ngayon Magnificent Atty., nasa harap mo na ngayon ang magic mirror… ano ba ang inyong nakikita?

Eyebags! Cellulite! Hemorrhoids! Ay sorry, si Mike Arroyo pala.

Oy wag naman po… sorry to Papa Mike! Magnificent Atty. Perez, maraming ding nagtaka… wala daw po kayong picture dito sa WordPress, so gusto nilang malaman… In fernezzz, what do you look like ba? Are you pretty? Are you ugly?

May nagsabi that I’m pretty, pero meron ring nagsasabing I’m ugly, but alam mo, you’re both right! The truth is, I’m pretty ugly. πŸ˜‰

So request lang daw sa fans mo, paki post naman ng piktyur! Baka ma-discover ka pa ni Mother Lily o ni Kuya Germs!

O sige… eto na nga!

O mga fans…. ayon, tapos na po ang segment natin “Why Magnificent?”. Salamat po ni Magnificent Atty. Perez for being on our show. Abangan na lang po ninyo ang susunod na kabanata, “Sam Milby: What’s the truth between you and Piolo Pascual?” Dito lang po sa “The Buzzzhhh!!”



1. fathertime - July 5, 2007

hahahahaha… showbiz talaga!!!
added you on my blogroll, is it okay with you?

2. northwolf - July 5, 2007

Hahaha… I appreciate the add. Thanks man πŸ™‚

3. fathertime - July 5, 2007

sa sige nako’g balik basa, nagsaylo na sa akong alimpo ang akong katawa hehehehe….

cool introduction…… πŸ™‚

4. Roy Sevilla Ho - July 6, 2007

Jeez, I didn’t know it meant that much to you. Fine I dub thee Magnificent, you bastard. Oh, by the way, you forgot the other Bastard, Paolo Thelmo, who would dig the Google-hit.

Thanks for the drop, Attorney.

5. northwolf - July 6, 2007

HUZZAHHH!!! Hear that Ken? I am now officially a Magnificent Bastard! πŸ˜€

Tenchu Grandmaster Roy!!! Tenchu!! (BTW, Paolo has now been officially written into canon)

6. BarrioHeiress - July 9, 2007

Hey i saw the “blogroll” thing and I’m in it! I don’t know what that is, but thanks! Hehehe πŸ˜€

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