Today is the day of our liberation, where we celebrate the true fruits of freedom, prosperity, happiness and civil governance.

We look back with gratitude for all who have gone before us, mindful that it was through their struggles… their sacrifice of lives and dreams that made this dream of freedom a reality for you and I.

And it is with this spirit that I bid each one a Happy Independence Day, and in solemn gratitude I say:

Despite the darkness set by the burlap sack placed over his head, the man could hear the muttered and guttural voices of what sounded like a Middle Eastern language. The dry arid heat of the surroundings suggested that they have taken him to a desert. Nearby, he could smell the stench of goat and camel droppings, damp molds, and unbathed Arabian men.

It was a strange time to be craving an All-American Cheeseburger.

“Welcome, Mr. Robert Downey Junior,” said his captor in deliberately intoned English, as the burlap sack was finally raised and the captive could finally make sense of his surroundings. The light came rushing into his eyes harshly, causing temporary blindness. Robert struggled against the rope tied on his wrists and legs but it was futile. He can’t get out of the chair.

“Wha– what are you going to do with me? Do you need money? My wife has money, just let me go free…”, the man who used to portray Charlie Chaplin impleaded to the voice who spoke to him, as his eyes finally adjusted to the surroundings. There were five Middle Eastern men with guns, not counting the swarthy leader who spoke to him in deliberate syllabication.

*SLAP!*

“You keep quiet you fatherless son of a motherless goat!,” the leader yelled, as the pain of his bony hand connected with Robert Downey, Jr’s rather bruised jaw. “We do not want your money, we are rich from our stocks in shawarma! We want you to build us the iron soldiers…”

Robert Downey Jr. was incredulous. “Wait… iron soldiers? Do you mean like from Iron Man?? There must be a mistake, that was only a movie–”

*SLAP!*

“Do not think you can trick us, Mister Junior. We saw you build the iron soldiers that could fly, shoot missiles and streams of fire. And do not think we would make the same mistake! We will be watching over you, like the hawks of the endless desert. You will not be left alone in the room. We will not give you free reign over missile warheads. We will not even give you lighter fluid! And you WILL build us our iron soldiers, Mr. Robert Downey Junior.”

The actor slumped to his chair, dejected. His agent was right.

He should have taken the role for Mr. Fantastic instead.

Despite the looming food shortage and political crisis of our turbulent country, I still have faith that we Filipinos will prevail.

Let our loving and compassionate nature seek to help one another in these times of hardship, and together, we can surmount these tough times.

My barrister friends are awaiting the results of the 2007 Bar Examinations today. I was in their shoes two years ago and I remember the feeling of uncertainty of waiting for the results, not knowing if four years and six months of your life will culminate into seeing your name in the list of successful Bar Examinees.

These pictures will explain how that moment feels.

Good luck friends!

This is reposted from my friend Jeneen’s Multiply blog: http://neenerish.multiply.com/reviews/item/12. Jeneen used to live in Cebu and wrote for one of our local dailies. This is one of her best pieces, which I’ve always loved the first time I’ve read it.

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I should have known moving to Cebu would be anything but normal.

Twenty minutes into my six-month stay here, I found myself standing by a grassy embankment a few hundred meters from the Mactan airport, dumped by an irate taxi driver when I refused to pay the P150-fixed charge to my boarding house in Gorordo. I tried to keep my righteously disdainful look on, but it was hard with rain dripping from my hair. It seemed the city hated me at first sight.

Cebu, I soon found out, had a secret language all its own—I was doomed to getting dumped on some nameless road unless I learned it. No way was I standing on that embankment ever again.

I resolved that my first lesson in the language was to find my way around. I’ve never seen a map of the city, but I paid attention when my Cebuano friends toured me those first few weeks. Despite my poor sense of direction, I began to notice that Cebu’s streets make no sense at all.

Driving down the twisting streets that defied planning logic, we would end up back where we started by going in the direction away from it. On the other hand, supposedly parallel streets would lead to opposite sides of town.

Traffic flows in at least 10 different directions at the Gorordo and Mango intersection. Only one traffic light acts as referee. In any other city in the world, it would be a pedestrian’s nightmare. But not in Cebu where jaywalking is a foreign word.

At least four streets are named Osmeña in this city alone—Osmeña Boulevard at the Capitol, S. Osmeña along the pier, E. Osmeña in Banawa, J. Osmeña near Mango—even a Fuente Osmeña rotunda where the traffic routes are crazier than at the aforementioned intersection. Curiously enough, I’ve never met a Cebuano who confuses any of the streets.

Having a car is one matter, commuting another.

My first weekend, I decided I wanted house supplies from SM. I asked my neighbor for directions since all my Cebuano friends were out. “Take the 13C to Ayala,” she said, “You’ll find the right jeep from there.”

Not knowing what a 13C was, I took the first jeep I saw and said I wanted to go to Ayala. All the passengers vainly tried to hide their laughter. A kind soul said Ayala was “duol na”, and pointed to some vague, opposite direction. This jeep would take me to Colon, he said, where I could get a ride to SM. Who would have thought even Cebu’s jeeps had an alienating code?

It wasn’t long, though, before these oddities began to fascinate instead of baffle me. The crazy streets to me now are like secret passageways that somehow all lead to my street. It delights me that every road is connected to every other road, no matter how inconceivable it seems. I relish giving out jeepney codes like a natural when a stranger asks for directions.

And it didn’t surprise me to see bars and restaurants popping up everywhere when the national economy was supposedly at its worst—Cebu is a city you accept, not attempt to understand. Until you know this, you can never fully appreciate its charm.

I should have known it from the way I got out of that first sticky situation.

There I was, alone on the highway, with nothing but my staunch principles, a suitcase, and a box of worldly possessions at my feet. I was getting wetter by the minute and no passing car seemed to care.

Suddenly, rounding the bend was an empty taxi that stopped in front of me. The driver agreed that I pay by the meter. Exhausted, I exchanged only a few words with him, who thankfully did not force a conversation.

When we got to the boarding house, the driver even helped me carry my things! I couldn’t believe my change of fortune. I made a mental note to thank him profusely after paying my fare. As I opened my mouth to say “Salamat”, he stopped me with a barely audible yet definite “I love you”.

I couldn’t say anything, and he didn’t wait for my reaction. He simply rode off in his white taxi, never to be seen again.

No matter that my knight in armor looked like a cross between the April Boys and the Reycards, complete with longish hair, an earring, and oversized shades. He is ultimate proof that Cebu does love me—in its own unpredictable, often irrational, but always, always endearing way.

Our Father, who art in Heaven — Holy be Your Name.

Your Kingdom Come

Your Will Be Done

On Earth as it is in Heaven

Give Us this day our Daily Bread

And forgive us our Sins

As we forgive those who Sinned against Us

And lead us not into Temptation

But deliver us from Evil

For thine is the Kingdom, and the Power and the Glory.

Now and Forever.

Amen.

We live in dire times. It is the Ides of March, and the heat of summer brings with it whispers of shortage, famine and economic downturns.

I was reading the column of Alex Magno in the Philippine Star (click on <this link> to read it), and it tells a cautionary tale of how the United States’ impending recession brings with it an adverse effect on the world and our very own Philippines. To quote Mr. Magno:

Analysts are now talking about things that seemed unthinkable only a few weeks ago. Oil, for instance, could reach $120 a barrel very soon.

The reason for that is no longer the dynamics of supply and demand. Oil futures are now under great speculative pressure. As a hedge against the falling dollar, the large institutional funds are putting their money in commodities futures — oil being one major commodity.

Hedging in commodities are pushing prices across the board. It is not only oil that is rising. Grains prices are rising too.

That hits us as well.

Unusual weather the past few months have cut into global grains productions. China, hard hit by extreme cold weather and excessive rains, is prowling all the markets, buying up rice. Vietnam, unsure about its own supply, is not exporting.

We are facing a grains shortage here. Heavy rains in the Visayas and Mindanao drenched the harvest. Imported rice is going to cost significantly more, if we could find enough being exported by other countries.

Rice supply is going to be a problem for us the next few weeks. We are not sure we will be able to procure enough. Even if we do, the commodity is going to cost us more.

The news that the Philippines is hit with a rice shortage is especially frustrating for me. I was just recently in Iloilo, which is one of the country’s major rice producers. During my stay there for the past few days, I’ve been riding the bus going to both Roxas City in Capiz, and Kalibo City in Aklan, and witnessed for myself the endless expanse of ricefields and flatlands, seeing with my own yes how rich our Western Visayas land is. For sure, this is not the only province in the Philippines that has a strong agricultural sector. In Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, we have been blessed with abundant natural resources that will allow our country to be self-sustaining, if only in terms of food production.

And yet, look at us!

We import rice from Thailand and Vietnam, countries that were back before the 1970’s, lagging so far behind us in terms of economy and food production. In fact, the Philippines had the best scientific research institute for the production of rice, which is the International Rice Research Institute in Los Baños, Manila. The Thai and Vietnamese government sent their own scientists to learn how to grow the best rice yield from our country.

But look at us now! We have to beg for rice from our own neighbors who learned how to optimize rice production from us!

It gets even more infuriating when you think about all the opportunities we have had and lost to improve our agricultural sector. The most major opportunity being the “Comprehensive Land Reform Program”, which supposedly empowers our farmers by breaking them from the bondage of agricultural tendency through granting them land which the government mandatorily purchases from private landowners.

Has the CARP really improved our farmers’ lives in any way?

Look at the sugarfields of Negros Occidental, where you still see to this very day, poor and uneducated laborers being paid so much less than minimum wage for backbreaking work. Look at the farms and haciendas that conveniently side-stepped coverage from CARP by allegedly growing “cattle” and having “agricultural corporations” on their land. Go to the farmlands of Capiz where in this age of tractors and the scientific method of farming you still see farmers tilling the land with the lowly carabao and drying their grain by the roadsides where it may be swept away by strong winds and rain.

You see, the problem is not that our population is too big for our food production to supply to. Our problem is that our current agricultural system for the whole country is still stuck on methodologies and farming techniques used at the turn of the 19th Century, which does not yield enough to feed our starving nation. Hence, we have to import food at a higher premium when we have the capacity to solve our own problems with the right farming science and technology.

One of our problems is our very own Filipino farmers. The CARP Law is one major blunder. While the dream of having our own farmers tend to their own land is a laudable objective, the Philippines never developed a comprehensive program that followed up after the CARP. While it is true that SOME of our farmers now own the land that they till, the reality is that these farmers do not know what to do with that land after acquiring ownership. For sure, to increase the land’s yield, they should buy more fertilizer and learn scientific means for better agriculture. If they lacked capital, they could turn to agricultural loans provided by the government, the Asian Development Bank, and a host of private lending institutes offering various credit arrangements for agriculture. They could have sent their children to UP - Los Baños, or to the Visayan State University in order to specialize in courses like BS Agriculture with a Major in Soil Science, and a multitude of other like courses. They could even have banded together through agricultural cooperatives upon which our government grants numerous tax and fiscal incentives, as well as grants and loans.

But most of our farmers did not do any of this! Sometimes, the reason for sticking to the old ways of agriculture is: “I’m old and too set in my ways. I don’t have the time to learn how to use a tractor or these scientific techniques. I just want to farm the way my father did and his father before him.” These farmers do not even want to send their children to agricultural schools because (1) they need the extra manpower in the fields, (2) they would rather send these children to professional schools where they can become office workers, nurses, lawyers and accountants and earn more.

Clearly, these farmers are too poor and ignorant to know that there is a better way for them to improve their lot in life without abandoning their family’s calling to become farmers. It’s just so sad because all the avenues and opportunities have been made within their reach, if only they were not scared to try a different way of farming.

And while our government has been trying hard to encourage our agricultural sector, still, its efforts are not enough. There is still so much room for improvement that it is not taking advantage of.

The government could ultimately solve the peace-and-order situation in Mindanao so that its farmers can finally till the land in peace, and economic development could finally find its way to the fat and abundant agricultural potential of the southern region of the country. It could provide better teachers and facilities to our far-flung barrios, educating our children and making them see that agriculture can and will lead to financial prosperity with the right application of knowledge and skilled endeavor. It could build better roads, provide superior infrastructure, and set up administrative systems to ensure fast and efficient distribution of food and resources.

But what do we have instead? Anybody remember the fertilizer scandal of last year involving a certain unpopular president and her even more unpopular husband?

Our own private institutions are wanting. Instead of encouraging our children to become farmers, scientists, entrepreneurs and skilled workers, we are instead pushing them to become seamen, nurses and medical professionals so that they can go abroad and bring money back to the family. Instead of upholding the dignity of labor and the beauty of the countryside, we have a culture that sneers at probinsyanos and looks down on municipalities that do not have their own shopping malls and fast food outlets. Where we encourage our young to go out and build businesses of their own, instead, we give them the easy way out by becoming call center agents with ludicrous salaries for unskilled work.

We Filipinos are killing our own Philippines! We used to be the richest country in Asia! Japanese housewives came to our country in the 1950’s looking for work as househelpers. When Vietnam used to be just a poor hovel that travelled on rikshaws and on foot, our country already had its own airline service that flew to international destinations.

Look at those countries now! Japan was thrown nuclear bombs but it built itself from the ashes to emerge as one of the leading technological wonders of the world. Vietnam just recently launched its first satellite to outer space!

We used to be so much better than our neighbors, but we’ve become the country that everybody looks down on. Our women have become commodities sold on the internet for lonely and desperate old white men who just want to marry a glorified housemaid. We’ve become entertainers, and minstrels, exporting our skilled and learned by the droves to other countries. We are so poor that we cannot even afford to grow our own rice and buy it instead from neighbors who learned how to culture rice from our own laboratories.

And yet….

There is still hope. There is always hope. I refuse to believe that things are so bleak that we have no other recourse but to desert our country like rats fleeing from a sinking ship instead of working hand in hand to solve our problems. We are so much better than this. We are so much better than we allow ourselves to give credit for.

We need a PARADIGM SHIFT and we need it NOW!

I am calling upon the Philippine government to stop playing politics and start running the country back to track.

I am calling upon the farmers and private institutions to realize the value of a strong agricultural backbone as a means of making our country self-sufficient and economically feasible.

I am calling upon our youth to realize that there’s no such thing as easy money, and challenging them to work towards going back to the farmlands and reaping the true riches from our Philippine soil.

I am calling upon each and every Filipino, from Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, to each and every foreign land and clime, this is a wake-up call because it’s no longer a question of will the Philippines become the economic superpower that it once was in Asia.

It has become a question of SURVIVAL and we are soon going to become a dead country unless we get our act together and start making sure that our institutions, systems, values and philosophies are geared towards becoming greater than the morass of pettiness that we have become.

We live in dire times.

It is the Ides of March, and the heat of summer brings with it whispers of shortage, famine and economic downturns.

We need to act NOW!

In one of my previous picture posts, I talked about the symbolic significance of water in my life and how during times that I am stressed, troubled or in despair, I dream of being near bodies of water.

I am going through one of those times now.  A lot of times I think about how much simpler life was when I wasn’t an adult, where I didn’t have to deal with choices, responsibilities, relationships, or be worried about the state of the nation and the rising costs of basic commodities and goods.

Sometimes I find myself wanting a quiet and uncomplicated life, much like the subject of this series of pictures lead, the Badjao children.

How much simpler it is to be Badjao.  A lot of people look down on the Badjao, because it seems that they live a life spent begging.  It didn’t used to be like this.  My bestfriend Danny C. told me that the Badjao are really a peaceful tribe of indigenous people from the Southern parts of Mindanao who had spent a simple life of subsistence fishing.  They are a peaceful tribe, unused to conflict and warfare, getting along well with each other and always smiling.

It’s a pity that these Badjao have been displaced back in the 1970’s during the time of the political upheaval in Muslim Mindanao.  These poor non-violent people were forced out from their ancestral homelands by their more warlike neighbors, and in order to escape the massacres of that era, the Badjao were made to flee to various parts of the Philippines.

Unused to a life of toil and hardwork, it is now common for us to see the Badjao here in Cebu, in Cagayan de Oro, in Davao, and yes, even in the wharves of Tagbilaran, Bohol, where I took these shots.

Growing up in a family where I was raised to value the dignity of work, I had come to look down on the Badjao.  All you ever see them doing is beg, beg, beg.  They’re dirty, unmannered, and rude.  However, after I heard the story from Danny, I grew to see the Badjao in a different light.  These people have never known better because all their life, they had always known simplicity and living off the sea.  To force them to adapt to the complicated rules and values of the big city is asking too much of these simple people, who now adapt to it the best way they know how… through begging.

I am older now.  I have adapted to the city.  I have work that keeps me facing my laptop the whole day long.  My life has definitely become complicated, and sometimes, it is too complicated.  I’m always exposed to pressure and expectations and a lot of times, it takes everything I have in me just to keep up with my job.  Unused to running, I trip on my feet and land hard on my face.  To quote a toy figure that my other bestfriend Johndi gave me back in high school, “Getting older sucks.“

And now, these times, I envy these Badjao children.  Instead of looking down on them, I envy their simple uncomplicated lives.  I envy their freedom, their ability to laugh at their hardships, the close bond that they have with the sea and with each other.  Yes, their lives are tough and it borders on day-to-day survival.  But then again, can we really say our lives are much better?  True, we have more resources and wealth than these little beggars, but in exchange for these, we are saddled with burdens such as taxes, responsibilities, and for us lawyers, an exacting code of professional ethics.

Tell me now, are our lives really any better than theirs?

We are still beggars, living off grace and looking to God to provide us with our daily bread, regardless of whether we are Badjao children, Philippine presidents, or struggling CPA-lawyer-photographers.  Each of our lives are hard on one way or the other, frought with hardships, sacrifice and tears.  As that song by REM goes, “Everybody hurts.“

It is times like these that the Badjao children remind me that each and everytime a question of love, faith and hope arises with Jesus, it somehow always involved the water.

We see it when the apostles were trapped out at sea during the height of a mighty storm, and Peter called out to a soundly sleeping Jesus to save them.  “Oh ye of little faith,” Jesus said, as he brought the squall to subside and the boat back to safety.

We see it again when the apostles were out at sea and encountered Jesus walking on water.  Calling out to him, Peter got out and started walking on the waves towards Jesus.  But he looked at the tides, got scared and started to sink to the depths.  Again, calling out to Jesus, he came by and saved him.

Finally, I’m reminded of the time after the resurrection that Jesus told the apostles to cast their nets to the other side of the boat, and came back with a catch of fish overflowing to the brim.

We all experience the storms.  We all have questions of faith, and look within only to find ourselves sorely lacking.  And we cry out calling to the Lord for succour and He tells us, “Oh ye of little faith.”

Like the Badjao, we need to believe that despite all our troubles, tomorrow will be another day.  The sun will be shining and the tides will subside.  Like them, we are all beggars of faith, wholly dependent on our Father to get us through another long night.  And with this trust in Him, we lean back and smile.

The storms will not last forever.

It takes one step then another, holding Jesus’ hand, for us to find out to our disbelief, that yes, through the certainty of faith, we CAN walk on water.

Okay… this is a veeerrrrrryyyy long blog to make up for my verrrrryyyyy long absence from “bLAWgging”. People who have are too busy to read this (i.e., people who have no lives to speak of), shoo… move on. Nothing to see here.

I actually wrote this entry last January, but in the light of recent political events, I find this entry very apt and prophetic. So I’m posting it now. Scathing criticisms shall be met with cold indifference, and an eventual backstab in the dark from an unseen ninja. Fawning praises and songs of adulation will be met with much narcissistic preening and false modesty. So hit me with your best shot…. Fire away!
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On April 15 of this year and of every year, I come across my most dreaded prescriptive period of all prescriptive periods (that means “deadlines” for those of you who do not speak Martian). Yup, you know what I mean… it’s the last day of filing of income tax for individuals who rely solely on compensation income, as well as for those juridical entities who follow the calendar year for their accounting systems.

Why do I dread this deadline? Well… when I file my income tax return, I get to see how much of my precious earnings go to the Bureau of Internal Revenue (or BIR), and penultimately, to the government, and when I do see this amount, I can’t help but cringing and saying “OUCH!” Those precious pesoses could well go into a lot of things to make my life more enjoyable… good food, a much-needed vacation, an AF 12-24mm f/4 Tokina lens, or more memory and an extra battery for my trusty and dependable laptop. Or even straight into the bank account where I am diverting funds for buying my first car. (Current balance: Zero. I should’ve taken up photography after I got myself the Power Picanto of DOOM!)

To make the pain of seeing my money go to taxes, I think about the good that it will go to, which will eventually redound to me, in the form of infrastructure, government services, administrative expenses, and the like. I think of all the poor children who will get good textbooks, of the expensive asphalt that’s used to line and maintain our streets, and the hardworking government workers who have money to take home to their families because of my tax contributions. A lot of good has to come out of it, right? For this mandatory sacrifice, society is improved and we citizens are given the security, service, and infrastructure that we need to improve our quality of life.

And then again, I cringe.

What improvement in services, infrastructure or quality of life???

The reality is that when we go to poor rural provinces, we see our children being taught by teachers who have the equivalent educational competency of a Third-grade student in the modern world. In certain city and municipal hospitals, I have heard of the dilution of the hospital’s alcohol with water because there’s really not much to go around for everyone who is in need of medical attention. In our cities, we see multi-million infrastructure projects that remain unfinished, despite the huge budget earmarked for its construction. In our rural courts, I have heard of a shortage of bond paper and office supplies because the court has run out of money for their purchase.

And we wonder…. so much of what we have goes to taxes. It seems like every move we make, we get taxed. When we earn income, we are imposed a hefty income tax. When we buy commodities, we are slapped on with value-added taxes. When we impart gifts to our beloved, there’s a donor’s tax. Heck, even in death, the State finds a way to tax us, in the form of estate taxes. Truly, there is a truism when the sages say that there are three constants in mortal life: Debts, Death and Taxes.

At its extreme, let us examine how corporations are taxed. First of all, the corporate income is slapped on with a hefty 35% tax on net profit. Then, as it is distributed among the corporation’s owners, 6% of the dividends is taxed as well. So effectively, if you are a businessman operating under a corporate structure, you are being taxed 41% of your precious earnings. For every P100 you make, P41 of that goes to the government.

Okay… say it with me now, one, two, three: OUCH!

SO WHERE DOES ALL THAT MONEY THAT GOES TO TAXES GO OFF TO? WHAT BECOMES OF “THE LIFE-BLOOD OF PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT”???

It would perhaps be more bearable if it weren’t for the fact that we see so many government officials starting out as average people, who, after working in the government, suddenly have a sudden windfall of wealth. Their wives are seen with genuine Prada bags, while the husbands drive around with Terranos or Pajeros or Crosswinds and what have you. They take fancy trips to Europe and Asia while somewhere in a badly-dilapidated wing of an elementary school, three children are sharing a tattered textbook with badly mangled historical facts, listening to an instructor blabber on in pidgin English.

Something has to change.

Unfortunately, our government is stuck in a vicious cycle of corruption and cheating. It’s become another constant in our lives as Filipino citizens. I for one was born under the Marcos era. I have never ever in my life experienced a reprieve from the endless headlines of corruption, bribery, graft and inefficiency in the government. I am so used to it that I honestly take it for granted that a government official WILL be dishonest, WILL steal public funds, and WILL have controversies and irregularities in their election or appointment into office. For me, an honest government official is like a unicorn, or the Philippine team winning a gold medal in the Olympics. There are rumors that they exist, but no one has actually seen one in the flesh.

Okay… I apologize to all honest government officials out there, because to be fair, I have met a lot of them, and they really have done wonderful things for the country. I’m just being my usual hyperbolic self.

But nevertheless, you would agree with me, wouldn’t you? Graft and corruption has become so entrenched that when we hear of honest and oustanding government officials and employees, you can’t help but stand up and preserve the moment with your cellphone camera, just to show to cynics and disbelievers of the fundamental good of the human race that truly, an honest Filipino government worker exists and is serving the public. The next thing you know, our Philippine basketball players might come back from the next Olympics in China astride pure white unicorns, displaying their gold medals for all Filipinos to see. Then I will look for the nearest rock and cower underneath it because it is a sure sign that the world and everything we know has come to an end. Senators Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla! Save us from our mythical enemies! Win for us the much prestigious Metro Manila Filmfest Awards!

My grandparents (God bless their souls) used to tell me that there was a time when corruption was not so prevalent in our government. This was the time of Presidents Osmeña, Quezon, Magsaysay, Roxas and all the wonderful true STATESMEN of yesteryears. “Really Lolo? I don’t believe it!,” I told my grandfather. And he would get that far-away and dreamy look in his eyes, seeing the glory of things as they were and a vision of what should have been. Then he would fart. It was just the fish he had for lunch, after all.

But seriously, so many of those who have gone before me all say that things were so much better in the past. (As most old people are wont to do). Government workers, at least, had the decency to lie low and cover up their tracks when they were corrupt, knowing the shame of getting caught in the act would cause a great stir in society. But old-timers say that the Marcos era came and changed all that. Suddenly, corruption was institutionalized, and government officials, from the most mundane government position and all the way to the most powerful seat in the land have become brazen and wanton in their dishonesty and incompetency. You would see a cashier in an administrative agency tell you to your face that she’s busy then open her cabinet, get her make-up and powder her nose in front of you. After she’s done, she will use the phone to call her Avon lady and make more purchases. You see hearing officers indiscreetly accept sealed envelopes from the opposing counsel before your very presence. You read of Senators, Congressmen and Presidents diverting funds for public projects into mysterious bank accounts which have their own names as signatories. (“But I was merely holding it in trust for the Poor Carabao Scouts of Canadia, who asked my help in forming a foundation in their name! Yes, of course, they DO need Ten Million Pesos as a development fund! *look of rightneous indignation* The cassava flour which they need to sell Carabao Scout Balanghoy doesn’t come cheap you know! It’s imported all the way from Vietnam!”)

And when there’s no fear of getting caught, the next step is to see how far they can get away with the theft of public funds, with amounts getting more and more ludicrous with each passage of the General Appropriations Act. Their lifestyles become more and more questionable while less and less of our funds are actually put to public use.

But let’s stop pointing our fingers and blaming so and so government official shall we? My point is that THEY ARE ALL CORRUPT, and they all just came from ordinary Filipinos like you and me (ERGO, we are ALL corrupt). Removing or impeaching one is pointless, because just like every cockroach and rat that develops an immunity to a poison, they keep coming back with different faces and different schemes. If they are not hopelessly corrupt, then they are so hopelessly stupid to the point of being inefficient and running the country to the ground. Given the fact that every government official will be corrupt, then I say at least let us pick officials who are smart enough not to mess up our economy and give something TANGIBLE back to the State.

A lot of idealists and purists out there would hate my Machiavellian view of things (and I would be the first to admit that my flawed logic would only give way to even more complacency and even more graft and corruption), but really, what can you do?

We can complain and impeach and imprison each and every government official we find, but soon we will be left with no one to run our country, because I tell you anyone you put into power will be corrupt and inefficient, in one way or another. Impeachment and imprisonment will not hack it anymore, as former President Estrada has proven time and time again. He will still find the face to say that he was innocent and a victim of politics. Or worse, they will find a way to frustrate the very ends of justice that seeks to punish them, just like the President that I thought I endorsed does. (”Yay! Go team! You can do it Nicky! Survive!!! Survive!!! Survive!!!”)

What we really need to do is to show them that we mean business. I propose that for every government official that gets caught doing an act of bribery, graft or corruption, we should cut off their extremities one by one, including those private individuals who conspired to their act. Then, for serious offenses like plunder, we should hang them by the testicles on the flag pole of Malacanang, with honey, sugar, and Carabao Scout Balanghoy slathered all over their bodies, then release a nest of fire ants at the base. If the government official does not have testicles, then we will hang their husbands instead. If they don’t have husbands, we will marry them off to one. I hear there are some Asian sub-cultures who enjoy that kind of fetish. Maybe they would like to run for politics in the Philippines.

As you well know, it’s a vicious cycle. We get corrupt government officials because we elect and appoint corrupt people into public office. We elect these people into public office because we allow our votes to get bought. We allow out votes to get bought because we don’t have a good ethical foundation. We don’t have a good ethical foundation because as children, our government gave us substandard facilities and education in the public school system. We were given substandard facilities and education because our great statesmen were busy defalcating our public funds to buy a condo in Forbes for their mistresses. We have corrupt government officials because we elect corrupt people into public office and so on and so forth…

HOLD ON! PRESS RESTART BUTTON! DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200! CIGARETTE SMOKING IS DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTH!

There is a way out, a way that ensures a clean start for our new generation. To eliminate corruption in our system, my Tax professor in my review classes has a very succinct solution: “Shoot all Filipinos above the age of 7“

Oh well… it’s a dire situation but to be honest, I have not given up hope. I have not lost faith in the bouyant and positive spirit of our Filipino race. I still believe that we have the capacity to change, as long as we work harder at putting fundamental changes in society, and laugh on our foibles and pecularities by reading about the humorous side of corruption in other people’s blogs. (“Perez… the Magnificent Atty. Perez.” It almost sounds like Denny Crane, innit?)

And most of all… invest, invest, INVEST in good public education for our poor and marginalized children. Good facilities, great teachers, the best books. Teach them fundamental ethics and good moral conduct, whether by a generic viewpoint espoused by athiests or by religious underpinings forwarded by whatever faith you follow. Make it a heinous crime to divert funds away from our public education system. Stop using our teachers as watchers and canvassers for the elections and start implementing a computerized voting system. Best of all, take away our lawmen’s pork barrel and divert it into the budget for hiring EXCELLENT and HIGHLY EDUCATED teachers.

(Yeah right Magnificent. Dream on.)

In the meantime, tomorrow, I will withdraw a hefty sum of money from my bank account, and file my income taxes in advance. I will try hard not to wince and think about the things I could have bought for myself with my tax money, and imagine all the wonderful things that our honest and hardworking public officials will use with that money for the common good. Then I will go to the nearest mall and drown my sorrows in the biggest serving of ice cream that I could buy.

Either that or unwrap a package of the best Carabao Scout Balanghoy in this side of the Visayas. Mmmm. Vietnamese cassava goodness.

I once wrote a blog post commenting on a former issue regarding the title of Speaker of the House.

It’s interesting how things have turned out. I honestly did not see that coming.

This is now my new comment on the latest major development in Philippine politics:

moar funny pictures