The Magnificent Atty. Perez

You’re Passionate! July 13, 2011

‎”Lust is no respecter of time and place.” – People vs Umali, 242 SCRA 17

One day, the Villainous Atty. Abella was partying with all his friends from showbiz when Anne Curtis, the girlfriend of his friend, the Magnificent Atty. Perez, got drunk.  Concerned, Judy Anne Santos asked Atty. Abella to drive Anne home.  Although he was villainous, Atty. Abella was still a gentleman.  So he got Anne Curtis to lean on his shoulder and drag-walked her slowly to his Porsche 911 Carrera.

Anne smelled so nice and the Villainous Atty. Abella was tempted to do something with her, but out of respect (and fear) for the Magnificent Atty. Perez, Atty. Abella desisted and tamed his libido with thoughts about his upcoming case.  Their drive home was relatively uneventful and silent.

However, Anne stirred from the passenger seat and said, “Harve, you’re passionate.”

Reaching the limits of his gentlemanly ways, Atty. Abella placed his hand on Anne Curtis’ bare thigh, but she drunkenly pushed away his sweaty palms.  Atty. Abella kept on driving.

Five minutes later, Anne stirred and again and spoke up more loudly, “Harve, you’re PASSIONATE!”

The Villainous Atty. Abella could not take it any longer so he stopped the car and kept the hand brakes up.  Then he leaned over and attempted to give Anne Curtis a wet and sloppy kiss.

 Anne Curtis shrieked and gave him a very hearty slap.

 Hot, bothered, and frustrated, the Villainous Atty. Abella could not take it any longer and shouted angrily.  ”WHAT IS UP WITH YOU WOMAN???  You tell me I’m passionate twice but you stop me from doing anything about it!!  Are we getting it on or not???”

 To which Anne Curtis angrily screamed, “YOU SHTUPID MORON!!!  I KEEP TELLING YOU!!!  MY HOUSHE!!”, she said, pointing to the right.  ”YOU’RE PASSHIN’ IT!!!”

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Morale of the story:  Never trust the Villainous Atty. Abella.  Or Anne Curtis.